Anyone else like me and just want to roll your eyes at any mama who wants to pretend that their way of nourishing their baby is the best way and anyone who does it differently is lesser of a mom? I’m so sick of the noise about this topic because to be quite honest, it’s none of anyone else’s business how you choose to nourish your baby. Whether you are breastfeeding or bottle feeding, YOU’RE RIGHT.
I’m gonna say it again louder, IT’S NONE OF ANYONE’S BUSINESS. YOU DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU.
Any country music fans out there who have you ever heard of Kasey Musgraves? If so, have you ever heard of her song, “Biscuits”.
It’s an amazing song that all moms need to hear, especially when I think about how to nourish your baby. The lines below just really speak to me.
Biscuits
“Just hoe your own row and raise your own babies
Smoke your own smoke and grow your own daisies
Mend your own fences and own your own crazy
Mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy”
Basically, mind yo’ own business. If you do, life will be gravy!
I’ve never understood how some people think they know what’s best for someone else’s baby, especially when they don’t even know the mama or baby!
Everyone has different reasons for why they nourish their babies the way they do. Some are very noble and brave and you may not even realize it. Some aren’t brave and noble at all, they’re lazy and cheap (that’s me).
I’m gonna be super honest right now and sound completely different than any other breastfeeding mom I’ve ever spoken to.
I breastfed, but not because of the noise that I heard from the outside world telling me it was what was best for my baby. I did it because it was free. I did it because I was lazy and selfish.
To me, it was a lot easier to just hook my kid up to my boob and feed her than to have to remember to pack the formula, the bottle, and the special water in a diaper bag. That takes time, time I don’t have.
I was also really selfish. To me, breastfeeding my baby gave me a reason to whisk the baby away from visitors who wanted to hold my baby. As a first time mom who had a miscarriage and waited to have a healthy pregnancy, I didn’t really want to share my baby. My ideal version of the newborn stage was me sitting on the couch watching Netflix all day just snuggling my baby. People coming over to visit interrupted that vision and so breastfeeding gave me back some control. (Did I mention I know this sounds controlling and crazy?)
Something else that makes me feel like an outsider breastfeeding mom is I didn’t even enjoy it like many moms do. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t feel this intense connection with my baby. I didn’t have a hard time quitting when she turned one like many breastfeeding moms do. I was excited to get my body back.
I have a feeling many breastfeeding moms would be disappointed in my reasoning, but is that any of their business?
Likewise, I feel like bottle feeding moms probably have their own reasons for bottle feeding. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to put their body through the turmoil of breastfeeding. Maybe it’s because their body doesn’t produce milk. Maybe it’s because their baby won’t latch on to feed. Maybe it’s because their baby isn’t gaining the weight it needs to gain. Maybe it’s because breastfeeding doesn’t work with their lifestyle because they’re a working mom, travel a lot, or have a hundred kids and can’t manage all the kids while having to stop and breastfeed. Maybe it’s because they plain don’t want to.
Who cares, because it isn’t THEIR baby and what you choose to do is what IS best for them.
Sometimes I want to shout, “Don’t you think that every mom wants what’s best for their child? Don’t you know that they have thought long and hard about what would be best for their family?!”
So IS breast really best? For some moms it is. I also think for some moms it’s not.
But I think it’s always none of anyone’s business.
Can we all just support and encourage other moms no matter what they choose to do? Life is hard, why make other moms feel like what they are doing for the one person in the world they care for more than anyone else is the wrong thing?
Mind your biscuits mama, and life will be gravy!
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